1. |
Highway One
06:43
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In ferns, eucalyptus trees and redwoods,
A cold morning haze, early light and silence,
You were addressed and remembered well
Heard a heartbeat and it rang like a bell
Pacing past Pacific beside me
Early evening fog– I wonder if you’ve seen this
Dinner with an empty seat, wine dry like a bone
You make that face and laugh at this shell of an abalone
The cliffside hides a jagged shoreline
A handful bathes– you’re right, nothing has changed
A giant, rocky, knife fights the waters
I see why you came, that it took you and I feel exactly the same
I have this map of where I think you’ve been,
Retracing your steps somehow tames the din
I wonder if you’ve been here, a spot on soiled cloth–
A scattering of garlic skins fluttering like moths
I get it now — your brother was right —
“like an open nerve,” I remember the fights.
I get it now, the things that you’d feign
but real anger inside grew
and before you the blame.
I get it now — your brother was right —
I see you with me, I interpret your life.
I get it now, the thing you couldn't tame:
when your body betrayed you
and everyone came.
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2. |
You Always Knew
06:28
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On cobblestone and in a sleeping caldera
I only wanted to be near to you
On ageless streets, a cloudy beach
I obsessed over the idea of you
I was naive and we were young
And in noisy halls I could hear just you
And I couldn’t speak and I bit my tongue
And I was obsessed over the idea of you
When you left you never said where to
We found each other and we spoke,
I remembered wanting just to see you
You spent the night and I awoke
Still obsessed over the idea of you
With you undressed, now I confess
My heart raced just to be next to you
As if a test, I said the rest
That I obsessed over the idea of you
You told me that you always knew
Years had passed before we kissed
But I was too drunk to even feel you
You ran through all that I missed
And I obsessed over the idea of you
It took this long for me to know
That I could never be with you
I could never answer why, though, why
I obsessed over the idea of you
I was just obsessed with the idea of you
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3. |
Friends, Lovers, Etc.
05:41
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Biting honeysuckles from the bush after school
Or the baseball diamond, when you lost your cool
Laying in the field, high, lit only by moonlight
Screaming in drunken stupor in alleys, on streets
Giving you eyes at a house party discreetly
Wishing I could just say what I mean
Who was I to you?
In these sweet thoughts
What have I forgot?
Things left unsaid
That need to be wrought
Your horrified look every time I got a new hair cut
When you’d help me out of yet another rut
Hearing all of my stories and egging me on
Getting locked out of the car in that mall in LA
Kissing in the stairwell for what felt like a day
Your tears dropping right into your soup
I plead not to lose
This pang of loss
What have I forgot?
Things left unsaid
That need to be wrought
Blood spilling from your head, upturning garbage cans
Poking endless fun at me, telling me to be a man
Scrubbing my name off of the sidewalk
Going for a hug you weirdly bowed at ninety degrees
Huddling on the beach at night so we wouldn’t freeze
The slow walk out of Penn Station
Who was I to you?
A forget-me-not?
What have I forgot?
What things are left unsaid?
What needs to be wrought?
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4. |
The Lyric Went
05:40
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Your bare feet dancing on the dirty ground,
You were high on Halloween and briefly in town.
The band was great your face just backs into the crowd
I forget the details because it’s been a long while now
Left the party – just the best one – stumbling blind
and it’s alone on the street when I always seem to find
Some semblance of a truth creeping back into my mind
But that night in Red Hook was another time.
“I’m older now then you were then,” the lyric went,
And that was one hell of a goodbye.
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5. |
Every Ghost
04:28
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On this stretch of Earth
I’ve spent my time
Collecting things
Of ceramic, glass, and pine
Painted scenes of worth
Caught everything I could
Watched the dust and specks
Slowly layer upon the wood
But every ghost
And emptiness
Fills everything
And I can’t help this
For what it’s worth
It will all be fine.
Whatever silence brings,
Is what rots the rind,
Dissolves into Earth,
Beneath spots I’ve stood,
Where I’ve carved time to forget
Within our neighborhood
Where every ghost
And emptiness
Fills everything
And I can’t help this
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6. |
Route Nine
05:52
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Do you hear it?
Below the wailing “why’s”
Between delivered lines
Where fiction seems to thrive?
Is this mercy?
Maybe the other side
Of pain where we might find
Some strength left here to mine?
Do you see us?
Loving such estranged
People that have arranged
To celebrate your life?
While we’re alive
Bleed and know love
While we have time
Keep pieces thereof
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